make a wish

11/11/2024 11:11 PM

so a whole lot has happened since the last time i blogged dot com. when i look at the hyperactive frequency of how much i was updating my site back in August, i laugh. i always work on things in such manic bursts of energy & then burn out. it's okay though. it's just how i go sometimes.

since the fall semester kicked into gear, i've been kind of busy. my "organizaton of information" course has continued to be very dull, but i only have four more weeks to power through. the "murder mystery" course is fine, i suppose. october was a bit of a wash for me since it was primarily spent transitioning from Adderall to Concerta, then upping my dosage. it kinda sucked but i still had a fun spooky season. i also turned 33, which i celebrated with my friends by going to a halloween-themed drag show. i hadn't been to a drag show in a long time, & it was a lot of fun even if the drinks were overpriced. Gottmik & Detox were there from Drag Race. Gottmik touched my hair & i ended up being in the same elevator as Detox. Detox performed to "Goodbye Horses" by Q Lazzarus & was basically naked on stage.

trump won the 2024 election & i'm not surprised, just disappointed. i kind of checked out from politics around 2020, which sucks to say, but my entire family died between 2020 - 2022 so i have an excuse. i felt for the first time the briefest glimmer of hope when biden dropped out & kamala harris had the nom, but she continued to disappoint me with her campaign. honestly i don't want to dwell on that too much, or i'll get depressed. i had started to steel myself a few days before the election for a possible second trump presidency. i really wanted to believe harris could win, & i think she could've if she hadn't alienated the left.

there's nothing i can say about the upcoming chapter in american history that hasn't already been said by someone smarter or more well-spoken than me. i guess if there is one thing i can say is that when my dad died in 2022, i had to learn how to come face to face with total & absolute obliterating catastrophe. that was the rock bottom of my life & i am still putting myself back together. human beings are capable of surviving so much. more than we give ourselves credit for. so i'm not trying to be like, "everything will be ok!" because how could i say that with an honest heart? we've already seen Roe v. Wade get overturned, we've already seen what the MAGA crowd is capable of. i don't think everything will be ok. things are going to get bad.

but you -- the person who is reading this -- are capable of surving so much more than you think you could. and human beings are capable of so much love & compassion for each other. that's the thing i try to focus on when i see so much nihilism & cruelty. i try to focus on the people who give a fuck. i lost my faith in the government a long time ago but i still have faith in people. i don't think politicians are going to save us in the years to come. we have to save each other.

i didn't want to end this post on a downer note, so i'm backtracking a bit. in mid-October my boyfriend Kenny & i adopted two 7-month old cattens (kitten + cat. they're like tweens lol). they are sisters named Juliet & Chloe. Chloe was originally named Sunny, but we changed it to Chloe. they are the loves of my life & the light in my heart. Juliet is a few weeks older than Chloe. she's shyer, smarter, & feistier. also her fur is very soft. Chloe is the little sister & is bold, brave, & outgoing. they are both annoying as fuck & constantly getting into things & being nusiances. Kenny & i are obsessed with them. it's hard to believe we've only had them for three weeks.

me & Chloe.

Juliet.

when we first brought them home, Juliet hid. but Chloe immediately started exploring the apartment, sniffing everything, & then immediately acted like she'd lived here her whole life.

Kenny & Chloe.

i've been doing a disgustingly navel-gazing amount of self-reflection on me/my life/everything. i have a lot of thoughts about everything. i might write some of my thoughts down. i have a lot of projects i'm working on. there's things i want to update & add to my site once i get the fall semester done. i will also hopefully have a job again sometime soon.

in a few days will be my dead sister's birthday. it will also be the two-year anniversary of my dad's death. it's also my friend Kelly's birthday. we are going to celebrate by watching Charli XCX on SNL. lmao

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